


Awake My Soul

by mrsmischief



Series: Awake My Soul [1]
Category: Hollow Crown (2012)
Genre: Angst, Emotional, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-13
Updated: 2012-12-13
Packaged: 2017-11-21 01:18:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsmischief/pseuds/mrsmischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry V spends one last night with his lover before leaving for France.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of the two-part story.

When you entered the throne room all you could see was the king. King Henry V. Your Henry. Well, not really your Henry, but that’s how you liked to think about him. 

You had first met him when you came to the castle as a new maid. You were young, and lost, and he was one of the first people you met. Back then he wasn’t the king yet, but you knew who he was; of course you did. He had struck as arrogant and obnoxious, but handsome even still. You had kept your distance to him, as was appropriate, but one night, after his drunken explorations he had come home. You ran into him in the empty castle hallway, and instead of just greeting you and continuing his way he had come over to you and asked you to join him in his bed. There was nothing you could have done, you couldn’t say no to the prince if you wanted to stay in the castle. You had followed him to his chambers, and even though you had had your doubts and prejudices about him, he had proven himself a gentle and caring lover, even in his drunken state. He let you sleep in his bed until the morning, and after that night you were never the same. And neither was he. You met each other in secret, stealing kisses in the shadowy corners of the castle and sneaking somewhere, usually his chambers, to make passionate love to each other. You both cherished these moments, they were your little secret, something no one else knew. 

All this had naturally changed when he became the king. He had to take responsibility, and you had less time for each other. That was also when you truly understood you could never be his wife. He was to be engaged to the French princess, and you knew one day they would marry. Usually you tried to push that thought aside and focus on the moments you still had with him, but the realisation was always there, a small voice reminding you of that even during the sweet moments he held you after your nights together. 

That voice rang loud and clear in your head when you watched him in the throne room now. His face was unhappy, stressful even, and he was running his hand through his hair, the crown on his other hand. He put it back and lifted his gaze up, seeing you in the doorway. He didn’t acknowledge your presence in any way, of course, since the room was full of other people: his advisors, knights, an ambassador… You quietly walked around the room, trying to find what you were sent to look for, but failed, forgetting what it even was. His eyes had captured you, and as you looked at him again you saw he was almost in pain. It wasn’t physical, but you could almost feel the weight on his shoulders as he declared war upon France. You knew he didn’t want to do it, he hated war. When the other men began to shuffle around to leave he let his guard down for a while, and you saw him for what he was: a lost boy, burdened with the weight of the crown on his head and the throne as his seat. 

He sat down there now, waiting for everyone else to leave. When it was finally safe, his eyes fixed on you. “Come here, please,” he asked, his eyes begging. Obediently, you walked over to him. He patted his thighs with one of his hands, and you sat on his lap, looking at him with worried eyes. “We’ll be leaving for France tomorrow,” he said after a while, his nose in your hair, inhaling your scent. “Will you come to my chambers tonight? To say goodbye?”

You sighed, loving the feel of him on your skin, his warm breath in your hair. “Yes,” you whispered, feeling the burning in your throat again. You knew you might not see him after this day. He might die on the battlefield, he might get married to the princess and stay in France. Or even if he came back home alive nothing would still be the same. You could feel it in him. He was preparing to say goodbye for good, regardless of what happened at the battle or after that. You wouldn’t be his after this night, and he wouldn’t be yours. Ever again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Henry V spends one last night with his lover before leaving for France.

That night, when the castle had finally quieted down, you snuck out and up to the hallway where his chambers were. You knocked lightly on the door, the way you always did, and waited. After a moment he opened the door, and, without saying a word, took your hand and pulled you by the window. 

“Look,” he said, nodding his head towards the view. The night was pitch-black, the only light coming from the weakening moon up in the sky. You saw a lot of people running around, preparing for the morning - and the war.   
“We’ll leave at dawn,” he whispered, placing his hands on your shoulders, his lips by your ear. His voice was choking with emotion, and you turned slightly to see his face.   
“Are you afraid?” you asked, examining his expression.   
“I’m not afraid of dying or wounds or pain, but I am afraid of being a terrible leader or just leading my men to slaughter…” he confessed, his arms now wrapping around you. You tried to hold back your tears, but you couldn’t anymore, and he noticed.  
“Darling, what is wrong?” he asked, his eyes boring deep into yours.   
“I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to leave me. Not now,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face.   
“I don’t have a choice,” he said, looking heart-broken. “You know I will always love you,” he continued, cupping your face with his hands. “Even if I can’t act on it anymore…”  
You sniffed and looked up at him, managing a sad smile.

“And our baby?” you asked, your hands dropping to your slightly swollen belly. You noticed a fiercer pain flash in his eyes before he answered.  
“He - or she - and you will have all you could ever need, I’ll make sure of that,” he said, his voice strained with emotion as his hand came to stroke your belly as well. You couldn’t hold your feelings in anymore, and flung your arms around his neck, kissing him with a desperate need. He responded with just as much passion, and slowly guided you towards the bed, never breaking away from your lips. 

“I love you,” he whispered when you landed on the soft covers, pulling him on top of you.   
“I love you, too,” you replied, feeling the sadness aching on every inch of your body. There was another ache as well, however, and you decided to push your melancholy away at least for a while. You grabbed his hair with your fingers, pulling him even closer against your lips. His hands made their way to tear off your clothes, not caring if he ripped something. With the same desperate fervour you began to pull his off his garments, though you at least tried not to break anything. 

When you were finally just skin against skin he stopped to look at you, brushing your hair off your face.   
“I will miss you, and these nights,” he said, kissing you gently. You felt the tears begin to form in your eyes again, and just nodded. His lips continued their way down your neck before he spoke again.  
“I will fight for you, and our baby,” he continued, gently touching your belly with his fingertips, then moving his lips down to softly kiss and nip at your breasts. After you were panting and squeezing his body tight between your legs he lifted his eyes back to look at yours, and entered you slowly, whispering in your ear,  
“Our victory will be for you.”

You woke up in the morning, alone in his big bed. You got up and wrapped the sheets around your body to protect you from the cold, then walked over to look out the window. It was very early, dawn was just about to break, but you could see the castle yard was as busy as a beehive. Your eyes were only looking for him, and when they found what they were searching your heart skipped a beat. He was wearing his shining silvery armour, and the crown, and looked more handsome to you than ever before. You tried to hold back your tears as you saw him get on his horse and leave the castle, his men following close behind. You turned around after the last one had left. You went to sit on his bed, and finally let it all out. You wiped your tears on his sheets, and it felt like they would never end…

In the end they did, they had to. After that you just felt empty, as if all the light had disappeared from your life. When you had calmed down you lifted your gaze up from your hands, and noticed a something on the table close to his bed. You went closer, and saw it was a small item wrapped in a piece of beautiful, red fabric. On top of it there was a piece of paper with you name on it. You turned the paper around, and saw his handwriting.

“My dearest,” the note said, “please wear this. It is a present from me, just for you. Wear it, wear it proudly. I hope to see it around your beautiful neck when I return, as a sign of your love. If I do not return, raise our child well and tell him about his father. Tell him I would have stayed with his mother if I could have. There is nothing I wish for more. I will love you forever.”

After that there was his signature. You clutched the paper tightly against your chest, smiling and crying at the same time. Then, curiously, you lifted up the smooth fabric and saw the most beautiful piece of jewellery you had ever cast your eyes upon. It was a necklace, an exquisite golden necklace decorated with red gemstones. You gasped, and touched it tentatively, irrationally afraid you’d break it. When you realised it wouldn’t disappear if you touched it, you gently picked it up and fastened it around your neck, then moved to stand in front of his looking glass. 

“Oh, Henry…” you whispered, touching the necklace with your fingers as the tears rolled down your cheeks again. “I shall wear this as long as I breathe.”


End file.
